Progression (Not Perfection)
We're two weeks into 2022 and I've been thinking about the new year and the goals that come along with it. I recently read an article in the NYTimes saying you should focus on a word when it comes to the new year; not necessarily an end goal or a series of resolutions, which stuck with me. The last two weeks I've been trying to figure out the word I'd like to use for 2022, and finally, literally this morning, while washing my face, I landed on 'progression'.
pro • gres • sion (noun) - the process of developing or moving gradually towards a more advanced state.
I feel like this is me every year, where I want to progress but get stuck in my comfort zone and end up standing still. From there I begin to self loath and feel bad I didn't make progress - which varies on things I want to work on; but this year, every day, I want to make some sort of progress. Whether that be getting up a little earlier, making a point to move my body daily, or write a blog post (hi!). When I move forward I just feel better.
I don't necessarily have goals, because I decided goals in a way, are already setting myself up for failure; and don't get me wrong, I think goals are great to have, but if I don't achieve them I begin to slump, asking myself questions repeatedly of where I went wrong. And for my personal mental health, I can't have that. I just need to know I did a little bit better than yesterday, or, I didn't, but tomorrow is another day.
Here are the things I'd like to progress in 2022:
- Walk more. 2021 was the year of standing at my work desk, and as soon as finishing the work day, sitting on the couch and indulging in social media. Yes, it felt good at the moment, but every day I wanted to walk more and just didn't. So far in 2022 I've been able to walk daily. It doesn't have to be long walks, just enough to get my body moving.
- Get my hair growing! Might be a funny one, but I want long hair and I am doing everything in my power to get it to grow. Vitamins, serums, washing only twice a week, daily brushing, you name it! I'm finding my hair to be much healthier than it ever has been, because I decided to invest in it!
- Have more fun. I feel like 2020 and 2021 were shitty years. We all know why. I want to have more fun this year, be more light-hearted, stop taking things so personally, or literally or whatever. Stop reading the news so intensely and just focus on the small things that bring joy to my life - Chris, Rad, my friends and family, my plants, washing my sheets, a hair washing day, working out, getting ready, reflecting on what I'm grateful for, eating a delicious meal, etc. There's a lot to be happy about and there's a lot of good reasons to have fun!
- Drinking less. Haven't really disclosed this with anyone so here it goes - I'm a weekend binge drinker. Yup. I said it. Am I embarrassed? A little. But you know what, it was time to say something. 2020 was where it really just took off - I was laid off, depressed, bored, and wanted to drink because it numbed the pain of my realities. 2021 wasn't much better, although instead of drinking during the week, I piled it on to the weekend. I am a coherent drinker - I know what's going on around me and I know my limit, but that doesn't mean I didn't have a problem. And here's the kicker - I drink when I'm happy, never when I'm sad. Any celebration, social situation, dinner, party, etc. I'd drink because I was happy to be there! But instead of 1-2 drinks, 2 would become 3, three, four, four, five...you get the idea, and every Monday I'd wake up feeling bad. Bad because I failed. At my goal. To drink less. Again. And so, something in me just said ENOUGH. Enough feeling like a failure every Monday. Enough drinking so much you basically ate a 1200 calorie meal. ENOUGH. I found an app online that's been helping me and shares the journey of what it takes and means to be alcohol free. And at the moment, I don't know if I am looking to be sober, per-say, but I am definitely sober curious. I am learning the triggers that come with wanting to drink - hello a beautiful day in the sun out on a porch with your favorite people sipping on a glass of bubbly - and I am learning to set myself up for success when the weekends come around - kombucha! I am only two weeks in, but right now, I am making progress and that is feeling really, really good. I am trying to unlearn my triggers for drinking - literally weekends. Literally friends. Literally a beautiful day. Literally anything social that makes me happy. It's a day by day thing, but right now I feel good. I want to continue this progress and continue feeling good. One. Day. At. A. Time.
These are just some, but if I am being honest, I'm focusing on number 4 the most. Everyday it is PROGRESS not PERFECTION.
I look forward to what 2022 brings. A new year with a lot of exciting things happening. I just want to focus on what I am grateful for and what brings me happiness.
As always, thanks for reading, xx